"guess since im a white man im not allowed to have opinions"
your opinions have shaped the world we live in today not being catered to for 83.9 seconds will not fuckin kill you
The mighty mighty Smacksons, lovely regulars of ours, had a massive bunch of merch printed the other week, they know a good bargain when they see one…100 t-shirts at £4.10 each! wowsers!
The Smacksons hold a fresh meat night every Monday, so If you want to play man derby and live in the Norwich area head over and get some skates on! https://www.facebook.com/EastAngloSmackSonsMensRollerDerby/photos/pb.486222434753596.-2207520000.1397215166./676540435721794/?type=3&theater
I can’t overstate the importance of this movie, and specifically this exchange.
❝ Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’ ❞
The number of “get me out of here” tactics women have developed and shared to help each other escape from overly-insistent-to-borderline-predatory dudes in public places should probably be enough evidence of the existence of rape culture all on its own.
I especially like how, in the majority of cases, you don’t have to verbally communicate what your signals are to other women. I’ve had women I didn’t even know come save me. Literally every woman recognizes the “Dear god, help me” facial expression, and knows exactly what they should do. We don’t get a handbook for this. We don’t have a sit-down nail polish party where we talk about a standardized woman code for preventing creepers. It’s just part of being a woman.
BUT LOL RAPE CULTURE DOESN’T EXIST.
Yup. I’ve definitely taken strangers by the arm and pulled her aside to go, “Oh my GOD it’s you! How ARE YOU?!? It’s been so long!” and then been like “hey I could overhear that guy who wouldn’t leave you alone so I figured I’d give you an out” and then see their VISIBLY RELIEVED expressions. This is part of girl code, because rape culture is that pervasive.
I once had a girl sit on my lap and say “hey baby” after she witnessed a guy (who was easily 20+ years older than me) hitting on me and harassing me for my number even after I told him I was taken. After he got up and left she asked if I was okay. I couldn’t thank her enough times, I even bought her a drink.
We have done this. In fact, we are this. Because we are asexual and we don’t like alcohol so we never drink, we have gone with friends to parties/places where our sole job was to keep an eye out for everyone and be the permanent ‘aggressive man-sheild.’ Not one of our female friends has ever questioned this or found it all strange. In fact, often once they realized we were willing to do it, it would be pre-arranged. Every guy friend we ever did this in front of or tried to explain to looked flabbergasted. They had no idea that this was a) an intentional thing, b) a planned ahead thing, or c) universal.
Rape culture is the fact that every woman understands this. Male privilege is the fact that no guy on earth seems to know or understand.
I’ve been asked to pretend to be my friend’s girlfriend every time we go out at night, just because she wears clothes that show off her curves and guys won’t leave her alone. They only back off when I put my arm around her and act as if we’re together romantically, and sometimes not even then.
i once ran interference for a friend, only to receive the unwanted advances myself. he wouldn’t back off until my (male) friend literally wrapped me up in his arms and acted as if he was my S.O.
It happens online too. A guy I know started Facebook-stalking me after a recent interaction, and my roommate immediately got on Facebook and told him she was my girlfriend. He thankfully backed off after that.
I can’t count the number of times I have pretended to be somebody’s girlfriend or sister in a bar when a guy wouldn’t leave her alone. Both with friends and strangers.
After reading these, I feel like taking a shower. Because I’m the designated driver pretty much every time, not being a big fan of alcohol, but I rarely, if ever, intervene. And yeah, I’m small and pretty physically weak, but I could put my foot down verbally if it came down to it. I’m just too scared.
You’re probably scared of confronting the guys. And you should be. That’s what this whole post is about. Rape culture is so prevalent and socially accepted as the rule of the land that if someone confronts a guy and tells him directly to back off, someone is getting hurt. That’s why all of the testimonies here are examples of how to deflect. How women all learn methods of pulling a woman away from a situation with a guy who isn’t allowing her to say no, by making up some lie that will get the guy to let her go without sending him into a rage and deciding to teach you both a lesson about knowing your place and submitting to rape culture. Men are dangerous in these situations because all of society backs them up as just a nice guy who deserves a chance, and vilifies any woman who refuses to give him a chance. Women are not allowed to say no. So other women have to rescue the women saying no and pull them away with some made up excuse. Otherwise the situation will escalate and the ones who get hurt are always the women.
Women absolutely have to learn rescue tactics for each other, but it’s kind of funny how we describe really obvious facial expressions and body language as “secret signals.” The reality is that women telegraph disinterest in these aggressive men, making it super obvious, but men choose to ignore it. Total strangers who are just sitting nearby or happen to glance their way will be able to see that the woman isn’t interested, but the guy making the advances is somehow oblivious? Unlikely.
And perceived physical power of the woman doesn’t matter either, I have had to do this for other rollergirls. Even after bouts where they are bruised, sweaty, and partying with a bunch of other built women in the same jersey.
It’s actually terrifying how prevalent this is. Most recently I had to physically wedge myself on a crowded Tube train between a woman trying desperately to read her book in peace and a dude who just would not leave her alone. It was to the point that other passengers were rolling their eyes at this creeper but otherwise doing nothing. Won’t ever forget the look of ‘THANK YOU’ on her face.(via tikken)
this fucking commentary, s2g, too real(via gay4hashbrowns)
I love this topic <3
1. Look at yourself naked. REALLY get in there and look. I know it’s hard for a lot of people to really see themselves, but the more you force yourself to look, the less dramatic you are about how your tummy rolls, or how your skin stretches. Once you get used to yourself naked - dance. Dance to Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Marilyn Manson, Backstreet Boys, Dixie Chicks, etc. Make yourself laugh.
2. Wear what you want to wear. If you wear all black, baggy clothes and band tshirts, but have an underground obsession with lolita clothes, mix it up! Start out with just wearing that cute frilly thing around your house until you get comfortable to wear it in public. Let yourself out of your box.
3. Dont be afraid of being unattractive. This one is a major truth for me. If you dont feel like getting dolled up every stinkin day, then dont be afraid to throw on those sweats, throw up the hair in a bun and go to target to buy fresh panties. Makeup and dresses can make you feel amazing, but sweats and clear skin can give you a certain freedom. This is the step that I struggle with the most.
4. Surround yourself with body positive people and blogs. They will help you the most. You can’t keep yourself in a closed bubble because your thoughts will get the best of you. Post selfies, explain your favorite outfit, envy other peoples outfits, share your tales of woe, give advice to other people. Having a community makes you realize that everyone, even if you think their body is perfect, has insecurities. You are not alone.
5. Its okay to feel bad about your body. Dont beat yourself up about having hateful days. You are not back at square one. Be progressive about your low-self-esteem. Take one thousand selfies and only post 2. Lady around the house and spread all of your makeup around you. Spend the day slathering as much on your face as humanly possible. Lay on the couch and watch reruns of Friends until you cry. Make a pillow fort. Buy a whole cheesecake and eat it until you feel like you are gunna puke. But remember that these days will come and go.
I could think of a million more, but these are the most important.
Before we were told we needed to move my boyfriend and I bought some new chairs for the living room. I decided what they needed were some cushions, so when I was back at my parents I borrowed my mum’s sewing machine to make some.
I used some foam and corrugated cardboard to make an arrow stamp, loosely following thistutorial, and then stamped it with white fabric paint. Once that was dried I…